Is He Safe?

“He's not safe, but he's good.”
― C.S. Lewis

It was right around Christmas and Dylan and I were working through her Astronomy lesson for school, and the topic of Christ’s return was touched upon in the lesson.  Dylan said, “I wonder when he will come back? He could be here now!” 

 I told her that if he were here now, we’d know it.  She said, “Well, he could be born now and we wouldn’t know it.” I replied, "Dylan, he is not going to be returning in the way he came to us the first time.  He wouldn’t be a gentle baby in a manger, he wouldn’t be meek and lowly, a man of sorrows, nothing we’d care to look upon."

 Her eyes began to wonder at what he was going to be like upon his return.  I told her that he was going to return as a conquering King, here to shed justice and wrath upon all those that would reject him.  I reminded her of a past memory verse that described him coming in righteousness to judge and to make war, clothed in a robe dipped in blood (Rev. 19:11-13).  Terror came upon her face.  She knows that as she stands right now, she’s an enemy of God. She’s told me about questions she wants to ask God about creation IF she gets to go to heaven.  This is perhaps one of the most dreadful and wonderful things I could hear from my child.  She is no stranger to the Gospel and the holiness of God.  I don’t want her ever to feel safe based on her own merits or the fact that she lives in a Christian home.  I would rather her be the prodigal son that runs so far from God that the only thing she possesses to lay at is feet is her sin,  I don’t want her to be the other self-righteous son that scoffs at the love of God toward contrite and lowly spirits that cry out to him in humility.

Christmas is a “safe” holiday for anyone.  Who can look at the picture of a helpless babe being clothed in flesh and not feel all warm and fuzzy?  At the same time, people can even ponder Easter and look at the humility and meekness that Christ displayed during his suffering, death, and the joy that filled the disciples at his resurrection with a joyous pondering.  But the same baby that was born, lived, and suffered is returning to conquer and rule.  I don’t think there would be as much celebrating by the world if we were to proclaim the Christ that is described and worshipped in Revelation.  But there will be much rejoicing in heaven as justice is laid forth by the Victor.

This conversation was brought back to my remembrance this week as our pastor began preaching through Revelation.  If you want to know what heaven is like, don’t read a book by a human that supposedly visited there, read the Word of God in Revelation.  Everything in heaven is centered on Christ.  Here’s a video of the sermon:

 

Can you worship the One called Faithful and True that is returning on a white horse ready to make war just as much as you adore the baby born in Bethlehem?  He is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Abortion and my Babies

I will never forget the day I had to explain abortion to my little girl, nearly 7.  

It was a summer afternoon and I was pregnant with her newest baby brother.  We were on our way to a little thrift store.  Before approaching the store, we passed a Catholic church; their quaint church yard was sprinkled with hundreds and hundreds of little white crosses. I saw them, my heart sank, and then she asked, "Mommy, what are all those little crosses for?" I took a deep breath, prayed a silent prayer, "Lord, help me," and began to explain to her that some people do not want the baby in their tummy, because children can be hard work or expensive, or they can just mess up your plans, and so people go to a place to have their babies killed.  It struck her to the heart because she knew.  She has seen her mother pregnant. She has been to more sonograms than most children.  Because of my "high risk" diagnosis, I have a photo album full of photos of her from the time she was 11 weeks post conception until 2 weeks before her birth.  From 24 weeks until 36 weeks, she has seen 3D sonograms of herself in the womb and when you look at those pictures you see Dylan.  She was who she is today from the time she was carefully nestled in my uterus.

Lennox at 25 weeks

She has felt kicks of her brothers through my belly while I read her stories and they made her giggle.  She knows.  She knows that it was never a blob of tissue and it was always a baby. She talks about the 7 babies that died in my womb and understands they were our babies. Can you imagine the threat a small person must feel when they know that the people that are supposed to protect them are actually the ones that murder them?  She also knows what God says about murder.  She may have been young and some people may want to shield their children from the horrors of this fallen world, but I couldn't lie to her. I don't want to pretend that this world is a happy place filled with people that it is not.  I want her to know that we need Christ and we need to tell people about him and that the only way people will stop killing their own children is through the heart-changing power of Jesus.

Campbell at 31 weeks

In June, Dylan and Campbell will be traveling with me to Syracuse, NY to visit and minister with our church planters, Jon and Kim Speed and their sweet family.  Jon and Kim have been sharing the Gospel of Jesus with the men and women that are willfully walking into a killing place to murder their own flesh and blood. They plead with the women to spare their children and to fall on the mercy of Christ.  I have always been vocal and diligent to educate others about the truth of abortion, but I have never gone to minister at an abortion mill myself.  I understand that these places are a battleground and I knew I needed to be prepared and to prepare Dylan.  I am sure there will be people that will say that bringing your child to stand in opposition of something like infanticide is unwise or even "child abuse."  But I assure you, she understands, she knows that someone needs to fight for these babies.  She's planning on making her own sign that includes one of her 3D sonogram photos and the words "This is me.  I was and am a person. Don't kill your baby."

Dylan at 36 weeks gestational age

Dylan 2 weeks later

So we went with a family of friends to the highest volume abortion clinic in Dallas. This place kills babies in the womb up to 24 weeks gestational age and refer "older" gestational ages up to 28 weeks to their sister clinic New Mexico.  Our friends were able to plead with about 5 women at the entrance to save their babies, all went inside anyway.  One couple came in to murder their baby and had a 5 month old baby at home.  They just went through the joys of pregnancy and childbirth and yet still chose to end the life of their baby's little brother or sister. There were over 30 of us standing just a few feet from the windows of the rooms where they do the abortions, men preached the gospel and pleaded with the "patients" and workers to repent and leave that place.  We had many people drive by on Greenville Avenue giving us thumbs ups and honking, but many people flipped us off or gave us a thumbs down as they drove past.  Sadly, most of those people were women.  Women have believed the lie that it is their choice and their right to kill their baby.  This is not about the civil rights of women to allow them to murder without any inconvenience; this is about the civil rights of babies' rights to live.  Don't believe the lie.

Dylan sharing the truth.

Please note the name of the "clinic;" they know what they are doing is wrong, therefore , they hide behind  a name.

Our media has chosen not to cover the murder trial of Kermit Gosnell , an abortionist that delivered, some estimate hundreds of babies, THEN murdered them.  Though he killed all the babies he aborted. This is news, this is injustice, this is the state of the world we live in.

We should be in terror of God that we live in a nation that promotes and makes millions of dollars by killing our own future.  This is not moving forward as a society!  In the Old Testament, men and women sacrificed their children to false gods like Molech.  Today, we sacrifice our own flesh and blood on the altar of Convenience and Self.We need Jesus.

Pray, educate and act.  These babies are made in the image of God, just like you and me.   They need a voice and our nation needs the Gospel.  Lord, help us.

Just the best Roast! (and in the Crock Pot!)

I was talking to my friend about how much I love cooking in my slow cooker and she mentioned that her roast dries out in hers so she makes it in the oven. I had no idea roast could dry out in a slow cooker because I've always used my mom's recipe. It always turns out juicy, falling apart and "soppin' on your roll" good!  So, here it is, I don't know where my mother got this recipe, but it's delicious.  Now, it does include canned soup, and I know that it's not the best for you so I promise next time I make it, I will try this recipe for making your own cream of 'whatever' soup to replace it and see how it turns out!

 

Just the Best Roast Recipe

1 Boneless Beef Roast of your choice

6-8 Small Red Potatoes cut in halves/quartered
Medium bag of baby carrots

1 medium sliced yellow onion

2 cans of cream of chicken soup

1 1/2 cans of water from soup can

Salt, Pepper, and Garlic Powder to taste

Place the roast frozen or fresh into your slow cooker, place your veggies and sliced onion on top and around the sides. Pour the soups and water in, sprinkle on your spices and place on low for 6-8 hours.  When I get home, I stir the gravy/sauce and make sure its blended together and your roast should just fall apart as you stir.  At the first cold snap of the year, my stomach calls on me to make this scrumptious comfort food!  Enjoy!

Sorry, I don't have an "after" photo before we ate it, it just goes that fast!

What NOT to Wear...

She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.  She makes bed coverings for herself; her clothing is fine linen and purple. 

Proverbs 31:21-22

This excellent wife is prepared for winter.  And why shouldn't she be?  It comes at the same time every year.  God is a God of order and he has placed seasons for us.  We have time to prepare for winter, but we have to act. I also think this wife has placed a certain, undeniable trust in her Lord.  Winters are brutal.  More so are spiritual winters or droughts.  We ought to prepare our hearts and souls for those cold, spiritual warfare days, when depression has the tendency to set in, with the word of God hidden in our heart, putting on the full armor.  We know those days will come, just as we can expect the first frost to hit the ground; so we must prepare, stock up, buckle down, be ready.   Let us not fear the winters of this earth and of our hearts, knowing that the Lord has given us everything we need, we only need use these resources.

Ms. "Perfect" also seems to dress nicely.  Though, it is proof in these verses that is not where she places her value.  Like I alluded to above,  God is a God of order, we ought to dress ourselves nice and neatly to the glory of God.  1 Corinthians 10:31  makes that clear.  God is also a beautiful artist, he's the great coordinator.  My cousin mentioned this to me once after a trip to the zoo with the kids.  She said if you walk through the reptile house, you will see the most beautiful coordination of colors- things we often copy on our clothes.  And why shouldn't we?  God is the God of beauty. I've been blessed tremendously each time I consider my Lord and my husband when I put together an outfit.  

So let us prepare our homes and our hearts for the impending winters we will face and let us dress ourselves well, not richly, for the glory of God and the joy of our husbands!  

Disclaimer:  This is not me telling you to go out shopping, so don't blame me, but this is me telling us to go read our bibles and spend time in prayer! I can tell you it is lots of fun to dig through your closet and put together outfits you normally wouldn't put together.  Go google some reptiles images and have fun! 

An Open Letter to Myself (School Year 2012-2013)

Dear Mendi,

I want you to read this letter every time you are weary, pouty, or just plain ready to give up.  There is no doubt that you will feel this way at least once over the course of the next 9 months.

Pray!  Pray, pray, pray.  You know that things always work out better when you have your attention and mind stayed upon the Lord.  Seek him!  Homeschooling is an excellent example of your dependence upon God.

Things can't go perfectly, just in case you forgot.  You are a sinful human raising sinful little humans.  You can be prideful and hardheaded and so can your students.  There will be times when you feel like screaming, and there will be times when you do.  It's in these times that you need to remember that every day isn't like this. Repent to God and ask your children's forgiveness.  That really teaches them a lot.

Remember that you are teaching children.  Let them be kids.  Remember you are teaching children while caring for a 9 month old and running a family business.  Go with the flow.

You are doing a fine job,  the fact that she's getting a one on one education tailored to her style of learning is a good indication that she's going to turn out just fine.

There are going to be bad days, get over it.  When that dark cloud hovers over your little schoolroom remember that tomorrow will always be better.  Remember that the Lord gives us trials to turn our hearts and prayers to him.

Don't forget why you are doing this.  You can give them every tool in the world to be a genius, get into what ever college or university they'd dream of, but if they know not Christ, it's all a waste.  It's for naught.  When they need math, first give them Jesus.  Show them the grace of Christ that was shown to you.  When they falter in their handwriting, give them Jesus.  They may never know how to spell idiosyncrasy, but if they can spell mercy and understand the word propitiation personally because that is who Christ is for them, they have it all.  Remember why you taught Dylan to read, so that she would have the power of God's word at her fingertips.  Don't ever forget that.  Your effort is in vain if it is not for a Gospel mission.  Show them grace in your dealings with them.  Remember how much long suffering the Lord has displayed and bestowed upon you, and give them that all the more.

Be a blessing to your children, they most certainly bless you.  Be an example to others and be not a burden to your husband.  Let his heart trust you in raising and educating his children.

Read this often.  You will forget these things all too quickly.

Pray. Pray. Pray.  Read your bible and apply it to your life- all of it.

Sincerely,
Mendi

Seeing the Physical with Spiritual Eyes

"She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.  She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings her food from afar.  She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens.  She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.  She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.  She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.  Her lamp does not go out at night.  She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.  She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy." Proverbs 31:13-20

Honestly, I had a really hard time finding a break in these next sets of verses in Proverbs 31.  This all seemed like a lot of "doing" and not a lot of "being" on the surface at first glance.  There seems to be much work and busy hands.  Yet, when you look at this through spiritual eyes and you see this woman, this bride, as not only a man's wife but the picture of the Bride of Christ and what she ought to be doing  on this earth until her Lord, her bridegroom returns, there is so much more here!  As the Bride of Christ, the church ought to be steadily out seeking to commit ourselves to Kingdom work.  Our hands must be willing to do what we are called to do.  We ought to be wise with the talents the Lord has given us, good stewards of the blessings he's poured out on our heads and use those things to spread the Gospel, provide for the needs of the family of God, and also seek to stretch out our hands to the needy, the widowed and the orphaned. We have but little time upon this earth to do what we've been commissioned by God to do, so we ought to, "make the best use of time." (Colossians 4:5)  

But also, as an earthly wife, this woman is a planner, a provider, a strong and able woman with a wise and keen mind.  Her beauty lies in her strength; that is what she dresses herself in.  But, as strong and wise and busy she is; She is also kind, tender and compassionate.  She not only looks to the needs of herself or her family, but she's looking for ways to be a blessing to those around her and even strangers.  What a beautiful picture of the Gospel.  Aren't you thankful that the Lord didn't limit his showering of grace and mercy upon the Jews only but also to the Gentiles?  I am very, very thankful for that.

So, where does that leave you and I?  Are we planners and need-meeters to our families as we most assuredly ought to be?  We should also be finding ways to be blessings to those around us.  Maybe there is someone around you that has every physical need met, but I submit to you that the most poor and needy are those without Christ.  I don't know about you, but I have far more people like that in my community and my own family than those with monetary needs.  And didn't the Lord say, "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world yet loses his own soul?"  

Am I good for him?

"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack in gain.  

She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."  

Proverbs 31:11-12

When I taught youth girls with my husband, I used verse 12 many times to illustrate to them the importance of purity.  It is good for a young woman to remain pure for her future husband, it is good for him to enter into a marriage relationship with no past to overcome. It is good for young ladies to think about keeping themselves pure for their future husbands to do them good, not harm all of their days- even the days before they ever meet them.  Because of my sinful, godless past  I don't get that luxury, but God is gracious and has forgiven us as far as the east is to the west.

But what about now?

Trust. Which ways can my actions cause him not to trust me?  I believe a big one would be me not trusting him.  When he comes to me with big plans or decisions for our life, do I automatically shoot them down out loud, or even in my head for that matter?  Or do I show enough trust in him (ultimately the Lord) by entrusting my future to the one God has entrusted with protecting me?  I am quite thankful I have a husband that comes to me and allows me to give insight and input when we have a decision to make.  But we must remember that God has placed our leader before us to trust.  We can rest in their guidance because God is sovereign.

Obedience. What about taking care of things that I can take care of to take some of the burden from my husband?  When he asks me to do something, do I get it done?  When he gives me instruction do I always listen?  That would be a "No."  Would it honor both the Lord and my spouse to honor his word, his instruction to make sure I complete tasks around the home that are important to him?  That would be a "Yes."  Then I resolve to do better in this area.

Shopping.  Can my husband trust that I will be a responsible steward of the resources the Lord has provided us?  Do I splurge on a new dress at the expense of our tithes, our bills, our needs, or our food? Or do I disobey our budget?  (Ultimately, if you have a budget set and you are constantly crossing that line, you are in disobedience.)  Now, do I do this perfectly?  No, but God granted Jim and I great mercy long ago when we came to realize we were thoughtless spenders.  If we had it, we would spend it.  If we wanted something, we would go get it, and pay for it later.  If we needed to pay a bill, we didn't put money in the offering plate, but next time, if we had money, we would write a fat check.  But there was no discipline, consistency, or control to our monetary habits.  But God, rich in mercy, allows you to see your sin for what it is, like Dave Ramsey says, "One day you look in the mirror and say, "I'm fat!  How did I get here?"  Well, it didn't happen overnight, but one day you do see it and praise be to the Lord he gives you the tools to change.  My God doesn't leave you where you are.  So if this area has struck a cord with you, I would call you to repent seek the Lord, confess to your husband and put together a game plan.  It will be one of the most rewarding, freeing things you can do for your marriage and it is great testimony to honor the Lord with your finances.  I recommend Crown Ministries or Dave Ramsey.

Spiritually.  Am I ensuring that my husband has time to pray and read the Scriptures so that he may rightly teach and guide our family?  I'm not saying you should be beating him over the head with the bible telling him he should be doing more than he's doing.  I'm asking, "Am I freeing him up to have great gains in sanctification and spiritual leadership or am I bogging him down to do too many things I could be doing, is he having to come behind me to fix my mess ups, am I leaving him with little free time to seek the Lord on our behalf?"  I think I could do better in this area for sure.  I look at our life right now, things are a bit busy with a young baby, a toddler, a homeschooler and both working full time- so I know there are seasons in everyone's lives and it's superific awesome that my husband can help me as much as he does, but I don't want to give him tasks that would take away from the immense calling that God has placed on him.

So, fellow wives,  let us strive to bring about a great trust within our husbands.  Let us do our best to bring him comfort and joy in our presence and absence.  Let us do him good, and not harm, all the days of our lives.  Christ will certainly be honored by our obedience and we will be blessed because of it.

“Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” 

-Martin Luther

What I'm not...

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels."                                                 -Proverbs 31:10

Ahhh, the Proverbs 31 Woman.  She's elusive.  I can almost never find myself in her.  I have striven to attain her status for years, with much failings.  God has granted me the greatest grace in showing me that when I read Proverbs 31 I was almost always looking to her physical characteristics; the reason of my failings is that I don't sew my family clothes, I don't consider a field and purchase it and sell it for a profit, I don't get up while it's still dark to cook, and the list goes on.  Although the text never states it as a requirement- but many people do in their own preferences, I was also dooming myself to fail because I have a job outside the home.  I don't do ANYTHING that she does, am I even  Christian? Ugh.  


But I have to share something big with you, and I mean huge!  I am not the Proverbs 31 woman because I fail at the spiritual side of things; my heart fails and my flesh well, it's the reason I clamor for her physical aspects.  The Lord showed me this in how I battle with my temper and harsh speech towards my children. Proverbs 31:26 says that "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."  I have not been doing that much at all. He convicted me so greatly on this.  I generally feel rotten about the way I tend to talk to my children when they anger me, and I tell myself I'll do better next time.  But God has shown me that if the teaching of kindness is to be on my tongue, that must mean how I teach my children about Christ will be in my gracious speech.  They will learn about the tender mercies of Christ from Jim and I.  I can teach them biblical principles all day long, require them to memorize Scriptures on how to treat others, but they will learn about the love of Christ in my dealings with them.  Lord, please give me the patience and tender mercies you have shown me, in my relationship with my children.  


It would be much easier for me to cross off the list of physical qualities in Ms. 31 than to be quiet before the Lord and examine my heart; to listen to what His Word says about what it means to be a woman who fears the Lord.  I am undone. I am broken and I need fixin'!  But praise be unto His holy name!  He gives more grace!  He shows me I can strive all day long but without His Spirit's enabling, I will be nothing.  I don't want my kids and my husband to look back at our life together and say,"Wow, my Mom kept a really clean house, she learned to be crafty, and I think I remember her getting up at 4 a.m. so she could say she cooked us a hearty breakfast from scratch!"  No, I want them to look back on this life, this temporary home and see that it was a place where love was spoken; wisdom was shared and above all it was a place where Christ was head and their mother failed daily but she looked to her God for strength, she prayed fervently and they saw God answer many prayers, she had a gentle and quiet spirit before the Lord, she dealt with them in meekness and tenderness, and where they were taught the Scriptures upon every rising and every setting sun.  


If you don't mind,  I think I will dedicate a few blog entries to these spiritual aspects of Ms. 31 and maybe together we can find a way to look to the eternal and the difficult and maybe, just maybe when we seek the Kingdom of God first, all those other things will be added unto us.  Matthew 6:33  By the way,  there is no maybe,  It's a command from God and what he says, he will do!  


The next entry will focus on verses 11-12 "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack in gain.  She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."

Her price is far above rubies, and all the rich ornaments with which vain women adorn themselves. The more rare such good wives are the more they are to be valued.

-Matthew Henry

Dylan's Room Makeover

Our baby girl is now 7, she's had the same basic room since she was two, we decided to give her a big girl room for her 7th birthday. We sent her to Nana's along with Lennox for the weekend and got to work.  Here's what she came home to.  Dylan struggles with change so after much prayer, we brought her in and she was delighted.  For days following, Lennox walked in her room and in an uber-cool voice exclaimed, "Niiiiice."  We think he liked it too!

Blogging Fail

Wow.  I literally haven't posted anything since my token baby announcement in November.  It's not that I haven't had a steady stream of things to post on.    My daughter is smart and learning more and more about the state of her heart before a righteous God.  My son is well... Lennox.  Or as he refers to himself, "Boy."  He's our entertainer.  He is talking and talking, and did I mention talking?  Campbell is just precious.  A pretty laid back baby, this one is!  He's very sweet and is all smiles.    I have lots to be thankful for and I know who I need to thank, so why is my prayer life lacking?  Why has my personal study time slacked off?  Oh, I could blame it on adding another calf to the herd.  I suppose I could add in that I'm tired.  Campbell started sleeping through the night at 2.5 months and then quit again recently because he can roll over one way, but not the other.  This seriously disturbs his sleep and well, mine.  But I make time for other things, in place of prayer and reading, just as I do with my blog.  But my blog isn't where I go to meet my God.  I know why. It's a battle with the flesh.  The God who made me, saved me and sanctifies me ought to be the only one on a list of "To Dos" but my flesh fights hard against the Spirit.  When my body is free from sin in Glory, I will not have to worry about this, but until then He's reminding me of my dependence upon himself to do all things.  He's given me power over sin IN HIM, yet I settle for much less. I can spend countless hours finding other things to occupy my time, and I do!

Or Does it?

He deserves so much more from me.  And I ought to give it, no matter how many times I fail.  I don't want my kids to obey me because they are afraid of me or because it's the law; I want them to obey me because of my love for them, and their love for me.  God demands this from us.  Not as a cruel task master but a loving Master that owns our heart already and wants us to put it forth to bring Him glory in delighting in obedience.  I don't show my love when I can't even give him back the time he's blessed me with.  I can't tell my kids I love them and yet never spend time with them.  Jim would NOT be okay with me telling people I love him yet never taking the time to show him, spend time with him, let alone even tell him.  If my husband deserves that from me, how much more does my God?

Praise the Lord for his patience and grace and mercy!  He doesn't leave us where we are, but draws us back into the protection of his will.  He is a good Master. Thank you Lord for your gift of Repentance!

Campbell is Here!

Campbell Coker Carlson

born on

November 17, 2011

at 2:21 p.m.

weighing 8 lbs. 15 oz.

20.5 inches long 

Challenge your beliefs!

Boys!

On Wednesday,  we were able to see a healthy and already fast-growing baby boy at my sonogram!  Come November, Lord willing,  we will have another little boy in our home.  This will make the first time in both mine and Jim's lives that we live in a house where the males outnumber the females!

Let me tell you,  I started writing this blog entry this morning but barely got out "Boys!" when I heard a loud bang followed by a holler and cry from Lennox.  I found him on the ground next to the couch that he presumably fell off of and he had a mouth full of blood! Ahhh!  I suppose a lot more of that will be in my future if my next son is anything like Lennox!  He's okay.  He needed a quick hug from Mom and the he was off to the next adventure.  That is the biggest difference I see between my son and daughter.  Sweet, sensitive Dylan would have been huddled up next to me needing consoling for a good 20 minutes after an escapade like that,  Lennox was over it in a matter of seconds, literally.

Well, I better go, I hear change clanging around and Lennox likes to "re-arrange" my wallet.

In closing,  I am thankful for another child, regardless of sex.  I am thankful that God remains faithful even as my faith waivers. I am thankful for a good report at the sonogram and beautiful view of the creativity, wisdom and power of God.  Boys and girls are different.  God made them that way.

Saying you believe something and living like you believe it...

...are two totally different things.  I say I believe and trust God, and know what his word says about trials, his purposes and his sovereign hand; but standing and living on those promises are different than saying you believe them.  I have a sonogram tomorrow.  I try to act really tough and confident- trying to be super excited about possibly finding out if it's a boy or a girl, but in reality, my reality, my sinful, unfaithful natural state, I'm pretty much in "freak out mode."  I don't have the luxury or history of living in the blissful, carefree pregnant state that I so often envy.  I have had way more "bad" sonograms than good ones.  My eyes and my heart automatically scan the screen in a panic mode trying to see movement, a heart beat, anything that says "life" instead of "death."   I know that what ever the outcome of everything God has laid out before me is good, regardless of how it makes my flesh feel, because he is good and I do believe his promises and they have been tested and proved in my own life.  But I am still this fallen creature that tends to want the easy way out, the shortcut, the bed of roses that my flesh longs for on the way to glory.  I have seen the glorious things God does in my life with brokenness and despair.  He makes me to look to him, to cry out to the only one who can help me.  It is not a bitter place to be, it is sweet.  Yet my flesh still presses against it, flees from it.  My prayer is that whether there is weeping or rejoicing in life or death tomorrow, that I would take joy in the God of my salvation and never let my circumstances steal my joy in HIM.

8 weeks ago...

Eight weeks ago we were waiting for THE call, you know the THE ONE we could say yes to! 


Eight weeks ago we were waiting for THE little person to come into our lives, to potentially enlarge our family through adoption of the Lord so chose.


Eight weeks ago I was one day late for my period and God laughed at our plans.


Eight weeks ago we found out that God indeed answers a little girl's prayers for more brothers and sisters but he doesn't need us to help him along by attending a bunch of classes we were supposed to or getting recognized by the state to be fit to care for foster children.


Eight weeks ago we found out that God still wants us to foster and adopt children, but he had a plan to give us another via the womb!


Eight weeks ago a second little line on a pregnancy test didn't quench our desire for more children because we got "one of our own."


Eight weeks ago God showed his mercy, his grace and his sovereignty to our family who knew we believed in those things but now have more evidence of these glorious truths.


Here we are, eight weeks later, 12 weeks pregnant, puking my guts up, and I am praying and hoping that when I quit being so sick, we can get on the list to get a call to take a child into our home.  Call me crazy,  but I just so happen to think that we weren't wrong about God's will for our family- because he has called us to care for orphans, and not just if you can't have kids of "your own!"

Sara and Josh's Wedding Flowers

My job for my sweet cousin's wedding was to be the florist and decorator.  I wanted to share the finished product!
If you know anyone interested in a florist, send them this way!

Taco Casa: You complete Dylan...

Well,  what we had already suspected of Taco Casa is true.  They pretty much rock and absolutely love their patrons.  Jim and I really wanted to get Dylan a Taco Casa T-shirt for her birthday this year, but surprisingly they are hard to find!  So, I just thought I would email them and see if they would lend me a jpg of their logo to have one made in Dylan's size to surprise her.  The sweet peeps at Taco Casa did better than that:  They asked for her size and our address and sent us one free of charge!  We <3 Taco Casa.

Now, if you are newish to this blog and are  wondering what the big deal with Taco Casa and Dylan might be, you should go back to my archives and read the hilarity of it all here.  Her party is next weekend, so I will take a cute picture in her shirt with bean burrito in hand and post it here soon!

They really are way better than the other guys!  Their food is deeelish!  If you have never had Taco Casa (gasp!), go try them today.  If you live outside of Texas, personally I think they are worth the drive!  Tell 'em Dylan sent ya!

Spicy!

I love nice things.  I love cute things.  I adore when those things are mine.  They make me happy, and as a Mom, I tend to set the tone in our home, thus they make my home happy.  I was inspired by  The Farm Chicks' post found here.   I found the spice jars with awesome dual flip-top shaker lids at Spice Barn and the labels I used were absolutely adorable and I found them at Amazon. They were fun to make!

Cooking with pretty things makes you feel good.  Presentation is not everything,but it's huge!  When I cook for my family and I have a smile on my face, it shows in the meal, it shows in the service and I think it helps create beautiful, tangible memories for my children.

I had to throw in one of my other crafty projects:  my stab at embroidery.

I'm not talented, but I think it's cute!

Life is Changing!

Wow. We are just a few weeks from our lives changing forever. We are soon to be licensed as foster-to-adopt parents. That means as soon as we are licensed, we could receive a call to welcome a child into our home. We will be foster parents for the State of Texas first, and if the parents of the child(ren) cannot complete a service plan to be reunified with their child(ren), we will be able to adopt them. It is the most exciting, scariest place I have probably ever been in my life. We are so excited of the possibility of enlarging our family by these means and also somewhat scared to greet a child that could likely have a myriad of issues from abuse and/or neglect into our home and also anxious about the possibility of having to bid them farewell after we’ve fallen in love. But, our God is faithful and his will is perfect.


We do not have to be afraid. Every child that comes into our home will be there because of God’s will, and every child that leaves our home will not leave apart from his will. We will have each day as a gift with this child, no matter what tomorrow holds. We have the high calling of sharing the gospel of Christ with children that may not ever hear his name otherwise. We are called to be reverse missionaries. We will train them up in the way they should go however many days we are blessed with them. If God so chooses, they will be our son(s) or daughter(s) forever. God uses feeble men to save souls. We pray he would use our feeble, little family for his Kingdom’s advancement as well.

Caring for orphans is biblical and it’s the Christian’s duty. (James 1:27) Not everyone is called to be adoptive parents, but all Christians are called to care for orphans. You may not be called to adopt a child into your family, but you may be called to pray for someone who is, give financially to a couple who are willing to travel down the road or across the world to bring an unreached person into their family as an heir, and to your church to hear the Gospel.

Adoption is the Gospel. It is taking someone without a home or a name and giving them a hope and a future. It is what God did for you, if you are his. The King not only pardoned the slave, but he made him a son. He not only made a way for you to live outside the gate without fear of death, but he has brought you into the palace to sit at his table, not as a guest, but as his son. Praise God!

Maybe you have never thought of adoption before. Maybe you have but never realized it is a spiritual matter. Maybe you are called to pray for someone adopting, or maybe you are called to do the adopting. Either way, it is biblical and we are all called as Christians to care for orphans. May you glorify your Father by your service to those who cannot give back to you. It is a glorious Gospel. Ponder the wonder of your adoption today.

Pure and Undefiled Religion

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this:

 to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, 

and to keep oneself unstained from the world. 

James 1:27