Am I good for him?

"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack in gain.  

She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."  

Proverbs 31:11-12

When I taught youth girls with my husband, I used verse 12 many times to illustrate to them the importance of purity.  It is good for a young woman to remain pure for her future husband, it is good for him to enter into a marriage relationship with no past to overcome. It is good for young ladies to think about keeping themselves pure for their future husbands to do them good, not harm all of their days- even the days before they ever meet them.  Because of my sinful, godless past  I don't get that luxury, but God is gracious and has forgiven us as far as the east is to the west.

But what about now?

Trust. Which ways can my actions cause him not to trust me?  I believe a big one would be me not trusting him.  When he comes to me with big plans or decisions for our life, do I automatically shoot them down out loud, or even in my head for that matter?  Or do I show enough trust in him (ultimately the Lord) by entrusting my future to the one God has entrusted with protecting me?  I am quite thankful I have a husband that comes to me and allows me to give insight and input when we have a decision to make.  But we must remember that God has placed our leader before us to trust.  We can rest in their guidance because God is sovereign.

Obedience. What about taking care of things that I can take care of to take some of the burden from my husband?  When he asks me to do something, do I get it done?  When he gives me instruction do I always listen?  That would be a "No."  Would it honor both the Lord and my spouse to honor his word, his instruction to make sure I complete tasks around the home that are important to him?  That would be a "Yes."  Then I resolve to do better in this area.

Shopping.  Can my husband trust that I will be a responsible steward of the resources the Lord has provided us?  Do I splurge on a new dress at the expense of our tithes, our bills, our needs, or our food? Or do I disobey our budget?  (Ultimately, if you have a budget set and you are constantly crossing that line, you are in disobedience.)  Now, do I do this perfectly?  No, but God granted Jim and I great mercy long ago when we came to realize we were thoughtless spenders.  If we had it, we would spend it.  If we wanted something, we would go get it, and pay for it later.  If we needed to pay a bill, we didn't put money in the offering plate, but next time, if we had money, we would write a fat check.  But there was no discipline, consistency, or control to our monetary habits.  But God, rich in mercy, allows you to see your sin for what it is, like Dave Ramsey says, "One day you look in the mirror and say, "I'm fat!  How did I get here?"  Well, it didn't happen overnight, but one day you do see it and praise be to the Lord he gives you the tools to change.  My God doesn't leave you where you are.  So if this area has struck a cord with you, I would call you to repent seek the Lord, confess to your husband and put together a game plan.  It will be one of the most rewarding, freeing things you can do for your marriage and it is great testimony to honor the Lord with your finances.  I recommend Crown Ministries or Dave Ramsey.

Spiritually.  Am I ensuring that my husband has time to pray and read the Scriptures so that he may rightly teach and guide our family?  I'm not saying you should be beating him over the head with the bible telling him he should be doing more than he's doing.  I'm asking, "Am I freeing him up to have great gains in sanctification and spiritual leadership or am I bogging him down to do too many things I could be doing, is he having to come behind me to fix my mess ups, am I leaving him with little free time to seek the Lord on our behalf?"  I think I could do better in this area for sure.  I look at our life right now, things are a bit busy with a young baby, a toddler, a homeschooler and both working full time- so I know there are seasons in everyone's lives and it's superific awesome that my husband can help me as much as he does, but I don't want to give him tasks that would take away from the immense calling that God has placed on him.

So, fellow wives,  let us strive to bring about a great trust within our husbands.  Let us do our best to bring him comfort and joy in our presence and absence.  Let us do him good, and not harm, all the days of our lives.  Christ will certainly be honored by our obedience and we will be blessed because of it.

“Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” 

-Martin Luther

What I'm not...

"An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels."                                                 -Proverbs 31:10

Ahhh, the Proverbs 31 Woman.  She's elusive.  I can almost never find myself in her.  I have striven to attain her status for years, with much failings.  God has granted me the greatest grace in showing me that when I read Proverbs 31 I was almost always looking to her physical characteristics; the reason of my failings is that I don't sew my family clothes, I don't consider a field and purchase it and sell it for a profit, I don't get up while it's still dark to cook, and the list goes on.  Although the text never states it as a requirement- but many people do in their own preferences, I was also dooming myself to fail because I have a job outside the home.  I don't do ANYTHING that she does, am I even  Christian? Ugh.  


But I have to share something big with you, and I mean huge!  I am not the Proverbs 31 woman because I fail at the spiritual side of things; my heart fails and my flesh well, it's the reason I clamor for her physical aspects.  The Lord showed me this in how I battle with my temper and harsh speech towards my children. Proverbs 31:26 says that "She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue."  I have not been doing that much at all. He convicted me so greatly on this.  I generally feel rotten about the way I tend to talk to my children when they anger me, and I tell myself I'll do better next time.  But God has shown me that if the teaching of kindness is to be on my tongue, that must mean how I teach my children about Christ will be in my gracious speech.  They will learn about the tender mercies of Christ from Jim and I.  I can teach them biblical principles all day long, require them to memorize Scriptures on how to treat others, but they will learn about the love of Christ in my dealings with them.  Lord, please give me the patience and tender mercies you have shown me, in my relationship with my children.  


It would be much easier for me to cross off the list of physical qualities in Ms. 31 than to be quiet before the Lord and examine my heart; to listen to what His Word says about what it means to be a woman who fears the Lord.  I am undone. I am broken and I need fixin'!  But praise be unto His holy name!  He gives more grace!  He shows me I can strive all day long but without His Spirit's enabling, I will be nothing.  I don't want my kids and my husband to look back at our life together and say,"Wow, my Mom kept a really clean house, she learned to be crafty, and I think I remember her getting up at 4 a.m. so she could say she cooked us a hearty breakfast from scratch!"  No, I want them to look back on this life, this temporary home and see that it was a place where love was spoken; wisdom was shared and above all it was a place where Christ was head and their mother failed daily but she looked to her God for strength, she prayed fervently and they saw God answer many prayers, she had a gentle and quiet spirit before the Lord, she dealt with them in meekness and tenderness, and where they were taught the Scriptures upon every rising and every setting sun.  


If you don't mind,  I think I will dedicate a few blog entries to these spiritual aspects of Ms. 31 and maybe together we can find a way to look to the eternal and the difficult and maybe, just maybe when we seek the Kingdom of God first, all those other things will be added unto us.  Matthew 6:33  By the way,  there is no maybe,  It's a command from God and what he says, he will do!  


The next entry will focus on verses 11-12 "The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack in gain.  She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."

Her price is far above rubies, and all the rich ornaments with which vain women adorn themselves. The more rare such good wives are the more they are to be valued.

-Matthew Henry

Dylan's Room Makeover

Our baby girl is now 7, she's had the same basic room since she was two, we decided to give her a big girl room for her 7th birthday. We sent her to Nana's along with Lennox for the weekend and got to work.  Here's what she came home to.  Dylan struggles with change so after much prayer, we brought her in and she was delighted.  For days following, Lennox walked in her room and in an uber-cool voice exclaimed, "Niiiiice."  We think he liked it too!

Blogging Fail

Wow.  I literally haven't posted anything since my token baby announcement in November.  It's not that I haven't had a steady stream of things to post on.    My daughter is smart and learning more and more about the state of her heart before a righteous God.  My son is well... Lennox.  Or as he refers to himself, "Boy."  He's our entertainer.  He is talking and talking, and did I mention talking?  Campbell is just precious.  A pretty laid back baby, this one is!  He's very sweet and is all smiles.    I have lots to be thankful for and I know who I need to thank, so why is my prayer life lacking?  Why has my personal study time slacked off?  Oh, I could blame it on adding another calf to the herd.  I suppose I could add in that I'm tired.  Campbell started sleeping through the night at 2.5 months and then quit again recently because he can roll over one way, but not the other.  This seriously disturbs his sleep and well, mine.  But I make time for other things, in place of prayer and reading, just as I do with my blog.  But my blog isn't where I go to meet my God.  I know why. It's a battle with the flesh.  The God who made me, saved me and sanctifies me ought to be the only one on a list of "To Dos" but my flesh fights hard against the Spirit.  When my body is free from sin in Glory, I will not have to worry about this, but until then He's reminding me of my dependence upon himself to do all things.  He's given me power over sin IN HIM, yet I settle for much less. I can spend countless hours finding other things to occupy my time, and I do!

Or Does it?

He deserves so much more from me.  And I ought to give it, no matter how many times I fail.  I don't want my kids to obey me because they are afraid of me or because it's the law; I want them to obey me because of my love for them, and their love for me.  God demands this from us.  Not as a cruel task master but a loving Master that owns our heart already and wants us to put it forth to bring Him glory in delighting in obedience.  I don't show my love when I can't even give him back the time he's blessed me with.  I can't tell my kids I love them and yet never spend time with them.  Jim would NOT be okay with me telling people I love him yet never taking the time to show him, spend time with him, let alone even tell him.  If my husband deserves that from me, how much more does my God?

Praise the Lord for his patience and grace and mercy!  He doesn't leave us where we are, but draws us back into the protection of his will.  He is a good Master. Thank you Lord for your gift of Repentance!

Campbell is Here!

Campbell Coker Carlson

born on

November 17, 2011

at 2:21 p.m.

weighing 8 lbs. 15 oz.

20.5 inches long 

Challenge your beliefs!

Boys!

On Wednesday,  we were able to see a healthy and already fast-growing baby boy at my sonogram!  Come November, Lord willing,  we will have another little boy in our home.  This will make the first time in both mine and Jim's lives that we live in a house where the males outnumber the females!

Let me tell you,  I started writing this blog entry this morning but barely got out "Boys!" when I heard a loud bang followed by a holler and cry from Lennox.  I found him on the ground next to the couch that he presumably fell off of and he had a mouth full of blood! Ahhh!  I suppose a lot more of that will be in my future if my next son is anything like Lennox!  He's okay.  He needed a quick hug from Mom and the he was off to the next adventure.  That is the biggest difference I see between my son and daughter.  Sweet, sensitive Dylan would have been huddled up next to me needing consoling for a good 20 minutes after an escapade like that,  Lennox was over it in a matter of seconds, literally.

Well, I better go, I hear change clanging around and Lennox likes to "re-arrange" my wallet.

In closing,  I am thankful for another child, regardless of sex.  I am thankful that God remains faithful even as my faith waivers. I am thankful for a good report at the sonogram and beautiful view of the creativity, wisdom and power of God.  Boys and girls are different.  God made them that way.