10 Reasons I love the church God has placed me in...

10. Godly Examples: I have so many examples of godly wives and mothers around me; women doing what they are called to do in Titus 2. My husband has a great group of godly men to surround himself with that strive to fulfill their roles as husbands in Ephesians 5.

9. My daughter has a wonderful group of children that I know and love to play with. I don't have to wonder about their parent's beliefs, question their home-lives and hope she is surrounded by at least a mediocre example of a biblical family. I know their home lives, I know their values and I know that they don't separate Sunday morning from the rest of their lives.

8. My pastor's wife: I love her, she's a great friend and dear sister to me, and I have never known a more godly example of biblical submission and meekness (controlled strength) in a woman as young as her. The beauty of the love for her husband makes me want to be a better wife to mine.

7. Fellowship: I know that lots of churches get together to "fellowship" and never speak of their Lord. Well, I have had more rewarding conversations in the last year with my dear brothers and sisters in Christ than I have had in a long time. And though we joke around are get silly, we do glory our in Redeemer and can't help but speak of Him.

6. A Desire for Holiness: For the most part there is a large group in our church that has decidedly began to strive for holiness. Through our own personal studies and through the teaching of our pastor, we have grown to know the Lord in such a way that we long to know Him more and long to do what pleases Him; Men who desire to be holy in all their conduct, mortifying the deeds of the flesh, loving their wives as Christ loves the church, and being both prophet and priest in their homes. Women who desire to submit to their husbands as unto the Lord and children who would strive to honor their father and mother.

5. My Pastor: He loves the Lord and you can see it in his life. You could come by his home unannounced and see that what he preaches on Sundays is what he strives to live out for the glory of God the rest of the week. He is a dear friend and loves to have fun, and is out to prove that Christianity isn't boring. He desires to rightly divide the Word of God and pours over the Scripture each week to ensure that he is able to do so. He loves the church and does his best to protect her from all ungodliness and understands the weight of his calling to keep guard over our souls. (Plug: Pray for your Pastor!)

4. Teaching and Application: Not only does our Pastor do a great job of teaching and urging the body of believers to learn and apply all that is in Scripture, but we have other men who use their gifts of teaching to do the same. We have women in our church that strive to teach the younger women in all godliness. We have fathers that do what they are called to do in teaching and raising their children up in the fear and admonition of the Lord. I am thankful that teaching is held in such high regard in this body.

3. Balance: We understand that we are to be ever-reforming. We understand that God is sanctifying Himself a people. But it is our greatest challenge in holding doctrine so highly that we do not go off into idolatry of doctrine and practices. I pray that we would continue to have balance and to remember the first things first: "Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God and His Righteousness. And all these things shall be added unto You. Matt. 6:33"

2. Truth: It is held in high regard here. We know who provides absolute truth and we understand the inerrancy of the Word and we do our best to apply these truths to our lives and pray that the Spirit would teach us all things. In a world where truth is relative, it is a wonderful solace to find a place that regards highly a word of Truth.

And the number 1 reason I love my church:

1. She's the bride of Christ and He holds her more precious to Himself than the apple of His eye, how could I not love her if I desire to be like my Lord?

"Grace that is Greater than all My Sin"

Our family just learned that we have lost another child in miscarriage. I just wanted to share some of my struggles through this in hopes that it would help others learn to trust the God most High in all circumstances.

I must first say, sometimes when God is pressing down hard on you and though you know He is doing it in supreme love because His desire would be to conform you into the image of His Son, it still hurts and the weight is sometimes unbearable. I want you to know that in my experience, this is when you cry out to your Father for mercy, and this is exactly what He wants you to do. He wants you to be pushed to a point when you realize nothing or no one else can provide you with what you need, but God. Our greatest example of love and obedience to Him is TRUST. When we believe what He says and we obey, it shows our trust in Him.

I know what He says is true, but I must act in belief. I have had my little “freak out” moments where I know what He says but I have failed to trust in His word. I have had my “what ifs” and I have forgotten that in the trials He’s placed in my life in the past, He has been always truly faithful, not only for my own sake, but mostly for His Name’s sake. He has said He will never leave me or forsake me, and through six miscarriages, He hasn’t left me or forsaken me. He has pulled me through the fire, burning off dross, cleansing my life of sins I would have never been able to see in myself had they not been exposed by tragedies. He has been faithful to love me even though it hurts my flesh, He has done what’s best for me, not want makes my flesh comfortable. I listened to a sermon on Job and Piper explained it very well, I shall paraphrase: “Job was a righteous man, but that did not mean he was without sin. God used Job’s trials to stir up a “sediment” of sin in his life. His waters of his life were clear until he started losing things and then the storm started to stir up the sediment sitting at the bottom of the glass.” When that sediment is stirred up and exposed, then it can be dealt with. On the outside we can appear to “have it all together” and fool ourselves into thinking we are doing just fine, but thanks be to God, He does not leave us in that state of self-righteousness. He sends those storms in our life to expose sin for what it is, and then does what it takes to sanctify our lives for His glory. 1 Peter 1:6 speaks of “various trials.” Each child of God will face a different trial, but each trial has the same purpose, to prove the genuineness of our faith. Glory be to God, He does exactly what needs to be done in my life and yours to conform us into the image of His beautiful Son. John Piper called the precise discipline of the Father on His children,” not the Executioner’s Whip, but the Scalpel of the Loving Surgeon.”

Something else I have learned through this latest loss is that though my heart is hurt and I may be deeply saddened by the loss of another child, what do I have to be most thankful about? The beautiful mystery of Salvation that God so lovingly worked out in my heart and in my life! Am I sad? YES! But, I’m SAVED! Glory! This lesson really led me into a glorious truth that I had not known in my life in this way until now...

We must have a longing for HOME. When God sanctifies us and sets us apart to holiness for Himself, we begin to long for the place of holiness. God places hardships on our lives in this world so that we do not get comfortable here. We ought not find comfort in the world. I have learned this week a deeper longing for Home. I have a new found longing to be with my Father that I did not have before. I praise Him for that. In God’s glorious providence, I was reading a book that spoke of this longing soon after He revealed this in my heart. The dear old saint J.C. Ryle spoke of this world being our “Inn”, we find no rest here, and we ought to be greatly concerned if we do. We ought to grow each and every day in a deeper longing to be with our Lord. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.


I am sure this is just the tip of the iceberg, and God has much more to show me and teach me about my abyss of sin and his immeasurable grace to cover it. I pray that by His glorious Spirit, the depths of His written Word, and the love and tenderness of His Bride that I would continue to kiss the rod, for I know it is the ultimate display of His love for me, as His child. I cannot comprehend the vastness of God, that He would give me the ability of love Him and not curse Him, and that He would show me the difference between “Happiness” and “Joy.” Everything will fade and fail, but God and His Word will last forever. May that be our joy. Mark 13:31 Amen.

Being washed by the Word...

"Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish." Ephesians 5:25-27

I just had to devote an entry in this blog to my husband. I am so thankful to God for providing me with this man that takes seriously his high calling by God. When I see Jim's love for service and devotion to the Lord, it stirs my heart to love and serve my Lord more. I know I would not be where I am today apart from God's sovereign hand bringing Jim and I together. He desires righteousness and seeks humility, two things a man would never seek apart from the Spirit's miraculous work in resurrecting dead flesh.

He seeks to wash his wife with the water of the Word. I can glory in the fact that the Word of God is spoken in our home. I am thankful to the Lord for Jim's willingness to teach both myself and Dylan the precepts of God. Prayers are uttered in our home, always together as a family, and I know countless ones are petitioned for us by our leader before we even arise from slumber. For that, I am thankful.

Jim serves me when I don't ever deserve to be served. He loves me when I am unlovable and he makes me want to be a better Christian, a better wife, and a better mother, by never even speaking a word. But, when he needs to firmly, but lovingly reprove me, he does, and for that I am thankful.

He is a man of integrity; a man of his word. Psalm 1 comes to mind as I make this point.

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day an night" Psalm 1:1-2

I have seen Jim grow so much over the years of our marriage that I could not now or ever deny the power of God. He seeks to be true and good because he loves Jesus and would never want to defame his name by bearing it. I pray that if God grants us sons, this is what they will learn from him. ("A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches..." Proverbs 22:1) He is a man of action, if you want something to get done, all you have to do is set Jim loose on it! I so value his work ethic and his servant's heart. I pray that my sanctification would continue in this area, I would desire for Proverbs 31:12 & 23 to be true of me towards my husband:

"She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life...Her husband is known in the gates when he sits among the elders of the land." Proverbs 31:12 * 23

Jim didn't like people so much before God redeemed him. Not at all, really. But, God saved him and now he is a deacon, which is a completely different role than he would have ever wanted to be in prior to conversion! Serving people? Jim loves his Lord's bride and seeks to honor her, protect her and build her up. His heart's desire is to serve the body of Christ. Now, I can tell you Jim was born to be a deacon. I am thankful that he takes his role in the church seriously and that he loves to do what he does.

I know wholeheartedly that God supplies our every need, and I see how true it is in the husband He ordained me to be with before the foundation of the world. I also know that by Jim teaching Dylan by Scripture and by his life what a godly man is like and by God's hand moving in her life, if it be His will, she will seek to honor her Lord by marrying a man with the same qualities as her father.

Gracious Lord, may you continue to sanctify my husband and all the men of your church to be examples of who real men are, what they do and whom they serve. May the men of the church of this age rise up and lead their wives and families and wash them with the water of the Word. And may we as women, humbly submit to the authority of our husbands, and be more precious than jewels to them, and may our submission and obedience cause our men to be known at the gates. Amen.

A Carlson Update...

Well, Tyler, this one's for you, and well for anyone else thinking what Tyler was only brave enough to say! I can write and update on our family and write of spiritual things simultaniously, because that is how we ought to live. We MUST look into our lives and see God so intermingled within every aspect of them, and if we do not see this, we are not truly living a life consecrated to Him.
You asked for it Mr. Looper! Here are some pictures of us over the last month or so and an update us in general and then more specifically, our quest to enlarge our family...

God desires that we walk in His statutes and all of His promises are true. We have lived in Fort Worth since we were married in 2003 in the wonderful home that my grandfather built in 1952. My father grew up there, I did, and then my parents graciously gave us that home in which to start our own family. Without the provision of God and giving heart of my parents, I do not know where Jim and I would be today. We lived our lives as singles believing the lies the world taught us about money, and we also had begun to carry those beliefs into our marriage. We were in sinning with our money. We were in debt on stuff we didn't need, we were not tithing regularly, and we were living beyond our means, and also not saving. All of these excerises are sin based on the principles of Scripture. God really convicted Jim and myself of these sins, and our merciful Lord granted us repentance. We began studying the bible on these subjects, we started studying Christian financial principles by different teachers and most importantly we began to apply the truths of the Scriptures to our hearts and our lives. We put into action what we had learned. We became "doers of the Word" not just hearers. It has been hard work, it takes lots of prayer and discipline, and we could not have succeeded without the power of God enabling us to do so. We were once in debt to many for things we did not need. We began paying bills one by one, until they were all but gone. We put our old home on the market, and we were able to sell it and purchase a new home within a 6 week time frame. The "old" us would have had all the debt we accrued before and then also a new home payment along with it. But God taught us patience and endurance, and delayed gratification. Thank you, Lord, for that. Our desires were to be able to move into the same town in which our church buidling resides, so that we would live within the community in which we minister and to live closer to family, friends, and our family business. The Lord has graciously provided. His ways are right and true, and if we would have gone about getting our desires on our own we would have failed and we would be in opposition to God's precepts and His will.
Just look at what Psalm 37:3-6 says,"Trust in the Lord , and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord , and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord ; trust in him, and he will act. He will bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noonday."

We have seen the truth in that lived out in our lives. I praise God for giving us strength to obey and eyes to see what is unseen. God gave us the desires of our heart BECAUSE we took delight in Him, and because we delight in Him our desires change from worldly desires into desiring God's will. When your delight is in the Lord, your desires change into godly ones.

So, in June 2008, we moved into our new home just 8 minutes from church! It has been a wonderful blessing. Our wonderful brothers and sisters in Christ were so helpful in moving and painting. They are awesome. God's bride is beautiful and growing ever more precious in our sight. We love them and do not know what we would do without them. We are a body and Christ is our head.

We began homeschooling Dylan over the course of the past year. It has been a tremendous blessing already, in that we are able to bring Dylan to the office with us. The uniqueness of my situation allows me to fulfill my wifely duties as keeper of the home, as well as being an industrious wife (both of which are described in Proverbs 31) who helps in making our family business a successful one. Dylan has a classroom area at the office and we greatly enjoy it. We have a bible time, then I am teaching her to read using a great resource called Teach your Child to Read in 100 easy Lessons by: Siegfried Engelmann, Phyllis Haddox , and Elaine Bruner. We are on lesson 23 currently and Dylan can read some simple words. We are teaching her that the most important reason to learn to read is so that we may read God's Word. We are reading some abridged classics as well. We will move onto unabridged when she's a little older, at 3 1/2 years it is a little hard. We just started Black Beauty today and we recently finished Heidi. I recently reduced my work week to 4 days and it has already proven productive. Dylan and I are able to spend some great time together and I am able to teach her to do things around the house. She helps me throughout the week as well, but this seems to be our own special time together. We are able to get things done on Friday that allow us to spend our Saturdays and Sundays with Daddy. We will surely use some upcoming Fridays for "field trips". It has been a joy to take part in educating my child. I know that God calls us to raise our children in the fear and admonition of the Lord and I pray that as parents we will always take that seriously. As for us, the best way we can do that as a family personally, is to homeschool our child. I am so thankful to the Lord for giving us the unique opportunity to do what we are doing. I am also thankful to my father for providing us ways in which to do so and also catching the same vision as he sees His Lord raising up a godly heritage within his family.

Most of you either know by knowing us or by reading this blog that we have a desire to have more children, but the Lord has not yet granted our petition. We went through 2 miscarriages before we had Dylan and then 2 more after Dylan in late 2007 and early 2008. But most of you do not know we just had another loss that we did not even know about until it was too late. I had an appointment with a new doctor and we have some new treatment options. I have a blood clotting disorder that did not know about until May 2008 and I also have an issue with egg development and hormones. So there are many new medications that are out there to treat these disorders that will hopefully prevent further losses. I would not trade my miscarriages and heartache for anything. I believe my Lord knows best and I believe what 1 Peter chapter 1 says is true. I know that God addresses each one of His children's sanctifcation personally. He gives us various trials so that our faith can be purified. I love my God for that. He does not react to situations, He brings them about. When you are a child of God, there are no accidents and no tragedies. He is Truth and His Words are truth and as a believer, we ought to quietly rest in His sovereignty. I know that without His Spirit it would be utterly impossible to make those statements, so I am thankful He's given Him to us. We still hurt when these things come about, but we also rejoice! We give a testimony about our Lord, we can't help but speak of Him, we can not help but tell others of how He is working in our lives. Well it is most easy to thank the Lord when things go our way, but it is a much more beautiful testimony to sing praises to Him when they don't. Your words seem to have more weight and more richness, and more belief about them when you speak sweetly of Him when things are not all right. Trials are an opportunity to know Him more, praise Him more, and love Him more. Children are always closer and more dependent on their father when they are humbled into KNOWING they need him. Let us not forget in times of plenty that we need Him just as much as in times of want. Do not cry out to God to take this cup from you for your comfort, for He may be giving you this cup so that you may ask for more of Him.

Prayer Requests for us: That no matter what, our focus would not be turned from Christ; that I would not desire more children above my Lord and my desire and petition would be that of Hannah's in 1 Samuel 1 & 2 and that I would not just give sacrifices of praise back to God for granting my desire, but that I would give my children to the Lord fully and wholly. And if the Lord chooses not to grant us more children, that I would praise Him all the more.

I pray that our testimony and update will be a blessing to you, reader, and that you would continue to grow in your love of your Lord and that you will follow Him with all you have. But most importantly, I pray that each of us knows that nothing is more important than to give God the glory that He is due.

Part 1: By Faith: Moses an excerpt from J.C. Ryle's book: Holiness

"Faith was a telescope to Moses. It made him seet he goodly land afar off-rest, peace, and victory, when dim-sighted reason could only see trial, barreness, storm andt empst, weariness and pain.
Faith was an interpreter to Moses. It made him pick out a comfortable meaning in the dark commands of God's handwriting, while ignorant sense could see nothing in it but mystery and foolishness.
Faith told Moses that all this rank and greatness was of the earth, earthy, a poor, vain, emty thign, frail, fleeting, and passing away; and that there was no true greatness like that of serving God. He was the king, he the true nobleman who belonged to the family of God. It was better to be last in heaven, than first in hell.
Faith told Moses that worldly pleasures were "pleasures of sin". They were mingled with sin, they led to sin, they were ruinous to the soul, and displeasing to God. It would be small comfort to have pleasure while God was against him. Better suffer and obey God, than be at ease and sin.
Faith told Moses that affliction and suffering were not real evils. They were the school of God, in which He trains the children of grace for the glory; the medicines which are needful to purify our corrupt wills; the furnace which must burn away our dross; the knife which must cut the ties that bind us to the world.

Marvel not that he refused greatness, riches, and pleasure. He looked far forward. he saw with the eye of faith kingdoms crumbling into dust, riches making to themselves wings and fleeing away... and only Christ and his little flock enduring forever.
Wonder not that he chose affliction, a despised people and reproach. He beheld thigns below the surface. he saw with the eye of faith affliction lasting but for a moment, reproach rolled away, and ending in everlasting honor, and the despised people of God reigning as kings with Christ in glory.
Was he not right? Does he not speak to us though dead, this very day? the name of Pharaoh's daughter has perished, or at any rate it extremely doubtful. The city where Pharaoh reigned is not known. The treasures of Egypt are gone. But the name of Moses is known wherever the Bible is read, and is still standing a witness that "whoso liveth by faith, happy is he." " - J.C. Ryle's chapter: "Moses" in Holiness

So what is Ryle trying to tell us by looking to Moses' example? He goes on to say...
"For one thing, if you would ever be saved, you must make the choice that Moses made- you must choose God before the world."

Noooo, he's not saying that in the anti-electionary statement! The theme of this book is holiness. God has not called us to impurity but holiness, says Paul in the 1st letter to the Thessalonians: "For this is the will of God, your sanctifcation...For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore, whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you." (1Thess. 4:3,7-8)

What then?
So, where does this leave me as a woman, a wife, and a mother? It leaves me to meditate on God's Word and examine my own life, my own heart, to see the parts of the world in which remain in my grasp. I have to seek out where society has warped my worldview, and bend it back towards the Scriptures. I must look at my heart and see if it is inclined to any evil, any worldiness, any thing that would set my affections away from Christ, and strip them away to be able to fully follow Him. I must examine my thoughts and goals and let them go if they are not honoring to my Lord, honoring to my husband, and beneficial to my family, and food for my soul. I must look to the unseen by faith as Moses did to behold the true prize and the true beauty and the true King of my life.

May you read this excerpt from Ryle today and strive to live by faith in obedience as Moses did. Amen.

My next post will be another excerpt from Ryle's book and it is a look at Lot and the fact that "he lingered".

12 Things you should NOT do to your husband By: Camilia Brown

For all of us ladies, it is an every day struggle against the body of death we were born into and society's feminine movement does nothing to help us wage the war. Our ever present help is our loving and patient God and we must look to him to help us fight this war.

"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." (Proverbs 12:4)

Read at your own Risk!

"Things You Should Not Do To Your Husband.” By: Camilia Brown

1. DO NOT treat your husband as one of your children. You are not running the household, he is. So no matter how busy you think you are or how many tasks you might have to perform at once you should not address your husband in this way: “Honey come here! Do this! Hold that! Grab this! Deal with this or that!” Now I am all for asking our husbands for help when he is available to give it, but bossing him around is not becoming of a wife. We must conduct ourselves as his help meet and not treat him as if the reverse were true.

2. DO NOT act as if you are more spiritual than he is. I honestly have a hard time with women who act as if they are the spiritual leaders of their family; as if they are doing all the spiritual reformation in the family while their husbands are busy with other pursuits and just tag along with regard to spiritual matters. We’ve all heard women say things like: “Well God told me this is the best for our family so I had to take the decision, because my husband is not there yet... I am praying for him though!” Even if it were true that a woman might be more spiritual than her husband, this attitude is a usurpation of the authority that God has given the family. There is never room for this kind of behavior in a Christian home. Honestly, my thoughts are that women who set themselves up as spiritual gurus in the family and brag of being more spiritual or knowledgeable than anyone else have proved themselves to be the contrary.

3. DO NOT talk over him and in a gathering DO NOT talk more than he does. If he doesn’t talk much than talk even less. It is just not becoming to women to do all the talking as if they speak for the family.

4. DO NOT complain about him to others. Don’t make him look foolish in front of anyone and don’t talk about his weaknesses to anyone.

5. DO NOT compare him with other men. You married an individual with different qualities, different style and vision. He is not like anyone else. He is the man that God has given you the task of loving and serving, and you should consider it an honor to be able to carry out that duty. Note to unmarried ladies: Make a list with the qualities a future husband MUST have to avoid your being totally dissatisfied. If it was not that important before you got married don’t nag him or be dissatisfied about it after you get married.

6. DO NOT nag him continuously about a matter. Did you hear the expression? DRIP! DRIP! DRIP!? I don’t like it when the children come even close to being drips, so I am sure no husband would appreciate it either.

7. DO NOT make him feel he doesn’t measure up to your expectations. Encourage, don’t criticize and most important...be content!

8. DO NOT be afraid to bring to his attention sins that he should deal with or concerns that you might have in regard to his conduct. It is a wife’s duty to encourage her husband in his spiritual growth. While it is not the wife’s duty to assume the role of her husband’s conscience, she is the closest to him and can encourage him grow in ways that others cannot. Our husbands must trust that we are help meets to them and that we are honest and sober minded in our reproof.

9. DO NOT always speak your mind. This doesn’t mean we should not have an opinion, but most of the time it is better to hold our tongues rather than “state the facts.” Choose your words carefully in soberness, patience, and love. This does not mean that it is wrong to be open with your husband about your concerns or being honest when he asks our opinion. There is a greater respect and trust that your husband will show toward your opinion when you find this balance.

10. DO NOT seek out parallel lives with him. Become acquainted with whatever job he does and get involved if possible, even if by just listening to him talk about it. Don’t think about your husband’s pursuits in terms of: HIS career, HIS hobbies, HIS this, or HIS that. I hear women say: “Well he is busy with his pursuits and I with the children.” Yes we have different roles but we work together towards the same goal: to Glorify God in every area of our lives. You can’t be a proper help meet for your husband if you are not involved in everything he is doing whether you are interested or not.

11. DO NOT become too busy to listen to him or do things for him. When you start to have lots of children it can become really easy to do this, but remember you are made to be a help meet for him.

12. DO NOT let your appearance go because you have married him now. Make yourself pretty for him. Yes he loves you no matter what, but you made sure that you showed him that you care enough to look nice for him before you were married, you should care more, not less, after he actually becomes your husband. It is not a matter of keeping his affections, but rather continuing to give him all that we have to offer. 5 minutes a day is all it takes.

"I have made my share of mistakes and still do. Many of them are listed above. I am still a work in progress, so please don’t take this to mean that I think I have arrived. I thought listing a few resolutions and observations, may be helpful to someone else." -Camilia Brown

The Television

I am sure that most of you know by now: Over two years ago Jim and I made the decision to cancel our Dish Network. Up until a year ago, we didn't even have rabbit ears until we realized that most of our friends felt it neccessary to call us every time there were tornadoes in the area because they thought we might be swept away because we were unaware of the dangers.

It was a decision that we were both pondering for long before that. We finally braved the waters and pulled the plug. The first challenge was actually stepping out in faith and realizing our time was very valuable and we were pretty much committing idolatry: sacrificing our time, money and worship to an object of the world. We set our affections on shows and ideals (even though they weren't really BAD shows) rather than the God of the universe that made us and saved us. We were replacing time doing God-honoring things for time spent in just being a spectator of other people's lives. Most people we spoke to didn't think we really watched that much TV, I suppose we didn't as much as some people. But still God opened our eyes and convicted us of our sins of omission. It was always easier to NOT do things and watch TV instead.

I will never forget telling a friend that we were getting rid of "TV" and she said she could never do that, that "TV was her hobby, and she couldn't live without it." I was a little worried that I was in the same boat. Not so much that I considered it my hobby, but there was a little angst that I possibly might die without connection with the outside world. Yet still, here I sit living and breathing!
When we finally decided to cancel the Dish, it took forever to get to the person on the phone that would actually be the one to cancel our service, then they tried and tried to get us to keep it, and the first mention I made of our family needing to spend our time in God's Word and together as a family, they wanted to deal no more with me," OKAY," they said, "we'll take care of it Ms. Carlson." Wow, that is so true of the world, if you would like to get rid of a telemarketer; all you need to do is try and share the Gospel with them. DONE! Anyway, that was a challenge. It did take a leap of faith, knowing that if we weren't watching TV, we were to be doing other things with our time. I couldn't just check out if I wanted to. I needed to be involved in my life. But, you know what? It has been a tremendous blessing. We are a reading family. We read the bible together, we read books, we shop for books, we talk about books, we fellowship with friends and family, and the best of all, God. You listen to God more, you think about God more and you learn about God more. The soundtrack of our lives now consists of conversations, hymns, laughter, silly old songs we boogie and dance to instead of the constant hummmmmm and murmur of some strangers on TV as background noise to a hectic life of trying to get a bunch of stuff done so I can FINALLY sit down and watch TV.
We have slowly introduced TV back into our home. We have rabbit ears. We watch the news a couple of times a week, we might watch "Headlines" on Jay Leno, and we watch NFL football, and I am sure I will be enjoying some basketball and track over the next few weeks as the Olympics start, but it doesn't own us. We don't schedule things around shows, we don't feel enslaved to the TV, it works to our advantage when we want to enjoy a show, but now we don't turn it on for the sake of FINDING something to watch, we turn it on with purpose. The catharsis was a metamorphosis of our family: I want Dylan to bring her family up to love to read because she loves to read and because that is what she saw her family doing: reading, having bible study, and always having an open door to friends and family.
I am so thankful that God revealed to us the need to seek after Him and to really invest in our lives. I just wanted to share that with others that sometimes we don't always truly SEE what we are doing until someone points it out to us. I don't think the TV is evil (just some of the shows) I just think it is just like the Scriptures say about money, money isn't evil, it is the LOVE of money that's the root of all sorts of evil. The TV isn't evil; it is the LOVE of the TV that is the root of all kinds of evil. When you love something more than God it causes a multitude of other sins that are all rooted from the first one, which is the breaking of the first and second commandment.
I have enclosed a blog post I recently read that led me to write this and share this with you: Not only does it address the spiritual but the intellectual, moral, and financial side:

Why We Don't Have Cable (and Maybe You Shouldn't Either)
June 2, 2008 A BLOG post by:
The Available Light
Reflections on Culture and Christian Life
For most of our married life, we've lived without cable television, one of those ubiquitous amenities that, for many people, has taken on the character of necessity. Some people don't know how we make it. We get asked from time to time how we go on living.
For us, the cost has been the main obstacle. For much of that time, we simply have not been able to afford the bill. Recently though, we've considered getting it installed. If we stretched our budget, we might be able to swing it. Struggling with this option has left me inclined to continue to do without. Here's why:
The Cost
Cable service rates continue to climb. Where we live the basic package is somewhere near 50 dollars a month. At minimum, we'd be paying $600 a year. And what would we be paying for exactly? The chance to watch more television.
I remain unconvinced we ought to pay several hundred dollars a year to do more of something that would likely make us less productive. Right now, a big TV night for us is two hours. Some days, the television never comes on. If we paid for cable, I'd feel compelled to watch as much as possible. If the television weren't on much more than it is now, I'd have the nagging sense of wasting money.
At the same time, the money could go for better things. We could save that $600 for something more valuable than the opportunity to see new episodes of "What Not To Wear." We could put it toward a trip to ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />..:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 />Europe. We could put it toward student loans. We could give it away.
The Time
Since having cable would cause me to feel compelled to watch it, a lot more of my time would evaporate in front of the set.
I would end up exchanging my time for value on my money. The end effect of this arrangement would be a double loss for our family. It would almost be like paying someone to take up our time.
We'd inevitably do less of something important. Maybe we wouldn't neglect our child right away, but maybe those dirty dishes would sit there a little longer than they ought. Maybe we'd just let the garden go. Maybe we wouldn't issue as many invitations to dinner.
Whatever it was, we'd soon find ourselves exchanging something important in order to watch television. We'd find ourselves becoming passive, not the active, involved people we want to be. We'd run the risk of becoming cable zombies.
The Content
We have a baby in the house. There is a lot in the world from which we plan to shield her. Having cable would mean running a line from Bad Idea Central into our living room.
I know there are some fine programs available. But I don't want to have to police them.
And it's not just the content of the individual programs. There's also the total effect of the content of the cable package itself. Watching cable tends to be simultaneously an experience in gluttony and starvation. A million programs on the air, only a handful worth watching. It makes me nervous just to see it all.
I'm not opposed to having cable in principle. Nor am I saying anyone who subscribes is doing something wrong. But for many people, paying for cable is the default mode of living and there are, no doubt, many more good reasons to consider pulling the plug.

As Silver Refined

On March 14, 2008 Jim and I went in for another sonogram at almost 8 weeks pregnant and the results confirmed what I had already suspected… The baby did not grow as it should. There was no heartbeat, only a very underdeveloped baby. I had not experienced the extent of morning sickness that I usually do with pregnancy, so I had already had a hunch that things were not going well.

The good news is that upon this loss, I was able to find out that with my only term pregnancy (Dylan), I was actually taking double the hormonal dosage that I have been with these last two pregnancies that ended in miscarriage.
I won’t pretend that I have this all figured out or that I don’t struggle with sorrow or grief, but I have learned through trials and the Word of God that everything that I am told by this world to think and to feel is the complete opposite of the eternal mind-set that God calls us to have.
I feel pressed down hard by God. But the comforting thing is that it is HIS hand that is on me. I can go to the scriptures and see that He is doing this to purify me and conform me to the image of His Son; to make me more like Christ. At this point in my life I feel incredibly loved by God. He loves me enough to do what is best for me, even if it means that I hurt. That is what a true parent does for His child. His hand is moving in my life to give me the greatest good, which is becoming more like Him. Hebrews 12 speaks of the discipline from an earthly father and our heavenly Father: "For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:10-11
I have assurance from His word that in His grand plan, His glory and my good never supersede one another. My good is never at stake for His glory, nor does He sacrifice His glory for my good. They are in a harmonious balance. Everything He does is both for His glory and my good. What a wonderful comfort I can find in that! God’s wonderful plan to truly display His glory to all people includes doing me good all the days of my life.

"…I will not turn away from doing good to them. And I will put the fear of me in their hearts, that they may not turn from me." Jeremiah 32:40b

Have you heard the stories of how they purify gold and silver? They heat the metals up to a heat in which the precious metals are not burnt, but liquefy, at this melting point, the "dross" floats to the top. Dross is all the scum and impurities that are within. They then can scrape the dross off of the top and the outcome is a more pure silver or gold. They do this over and over to create a more pure form. God does the same with His people and the bible testifies to this. The important thing to take note of in the purification process is that the gold or silver is not consumed by the heat, not burnt up. The same thing happens with us, we are heated up so hot to cleanse us of impurities, but not so hot to destroy us. What a beautiful picture of the care God takes in refining us. He cleanses us for our good and for His glory. The old hymn "How firm a foundation" beautifully proclaims this truth:
"When through fiery trials thy pathways shall lie,My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply;The flame shall not hurt thee; I only designThy dross to consume, and thy gold to refine."

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers." Romans 8:28-29

Our good that is worked out in His purpose is to conform us to Christ!

"Bless our God, O peoples; let the sound of His praise be heard, who has kept our soul among the living and has not let our feet slip. For you, O God, have tested us; you have tried us as silver is tried." Psalm 66:8-10

"… and refine them as one refines silver, and test them as gold is tested. They will call upon my name, and I will answer them. I will say, "They are my people’; and they will say,"The Lord is my God." Zechariah 13:9b

"In this you rejoice, thou now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith-more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire-may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ." 1 Peter 1:6-7

"Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." James 1:2-4

Before all of this happened, I decided to purchase 2 new cds. One I knew the songs on, another I didn’t. I couldn’t decide which cd to purchase that I was not familiar with, but I did see one that was a collection of songs based off of an old book of Puritan prayers. I thought that has to be good. Well, I must praise God for inclining me to that purchase. The first song on the CD says it all and exactly what I needed to hear. Here are the words based on a prayer written by an old Puritan hundreds of years ago…
When You lead me to the valley of vision
I can see You in the heights
And though my humbling wouldn’t be my decision
It’s here Your glory shines so bright
So let me learn that the cross precedes the crown
To be low is to be high
That the valley’s where you make me more like Christ
Chorus:
Let me find Your grace in the valley
Let me find Your life in my death
Let me find Your joy in my sorrow
Your wealth in my need
That You’re near with every breath
In the valley
In the day time, there are stars in the heavens
But they only shine at night
And the deeper that I go into darkness
The more I see Your radiant light
So let me learn that my losses are my gain
To be broken is to heal
That the valley’s where Your power is revealed

Every circumstance you are in is for a purpose. It may be to draw you to God for the first time, or draw you back to Him if you have strayed; it may to make you realize you have a desperate need to be reconciled to God through Jesus Christ. Whatever your circumstance, whatever your trial, my prayer for you is that you would seek after God and feel your desperate need of Him.
It is a glorious thing to rest in God’s sovereignty and power in your life. God grants me the faith to believe upon His word and promises because they are truth and He is truth. That was Jesus’ prayer for you as well. "Sanctify them in the truth; Your word is truth." John 17:17

When God leads you into the valley, may it be a valley of vision for you, to clearly see His glories. Rightly honor Him by knowing that it is His sovereign hand that leads you to both mountains and valleys and His purpose for those valleys were written before one of your days every began. "… in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there were none of them." Psalm 139:16b

So based on this Scripture, along with hundreds of others; God not only knows the future; the whole story, the God of that created the universe, wrote the story!
May the magnitude of His glory, knowledge and power cause you to fear Him, revere Him, and long to know Him.

Do you have Assurance?

In Romans 3:23, it says that "ALL have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"; and look at what Ephesians 2:8-9 says about salvation: "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one can boast.
Of all the important parts of the gospel I claim these two as essential:
1) God gives us the gift of faith, we can not muster it up on our own... and the faith he gives us in turn allows us to receive his message of grace and repentance.
2) We have to realize that we have sinned against God, and he is Holy and we deserve Hell as punishment, but by His own blood he paid our fine, and by His power he gives us a new heart: "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has passed away; behold the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17 Christ's regenerating power ALONE can cause us to bear good fruit for Him.
It is not that works (good deeds) can save us, we know that is not the case by looking at the scripture in Ephesians I noted above, BUT we know that as a RESULT of salvation and because of our love for Him because of what He did and does for us, we will most certainly bear fruit: Look at what Jesus himself says in Matthew 7:15-20,"So, every tree bears good fruit, but the diseased tree bears bad fruit. A healthy tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a diseased tree bear good fruit. Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. Thus you will recognize them by their fruits."
Here is the part that ought to make each of us fearful and wrestle with our faith to see if we are in the faith, the next thing Jesus says after the above passage in Matt 7 is verse 21: "Not everyone who says to me, "Lord, Lord," will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven." and then in verse 23: And then I will declare to them, "I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness."
Why do you think practically 80% of our population in the US says they are Christian, more loosely that they "believe in God" but something less than 20% of Americans regularly attend church. And of those 20% can you name a precentege that actually bear fruit? I could almost easily say it's about half of that 20%. You can come to the conclusion of the Scripture I wrote out above and see that the Bible testifies to what you see in America and American churches presently.
It is not about judging others in condemnation or some how thinking you are better than them. It is about believing the truth of the Gospel that people will die and go to Hell if they are not a new creation in Christ. It's about loving someone enough to show them the Scriptures that are diametrically opposed to the life they live and the profession of belief they make.
Let me give you this scenerio: Imagine that I drive up to the White House and get to the security gate and say, Hi, I'm Mendi and I know President Bush and I would like to see him. They would look at me and laugh, and if I am lucky they'd call and ask around, and President Bush would say,"I don't know that person and I have never heard of them in my life." Now, think of that same scenerio and President Bush calls the security gate and says, "Hey,that is my best friend Mendi, Let her in and throw a party!"
See the difference? Millions of people claim to know Christ, but does He know them?
I will leave you with some other scriptures in Matthew 7:13-14: "Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."
I meant to only write a few lines on this subject, but it is something I am truly passionate about. I have many around me that have been led falsely by false teachings that they can just SAY they are Christians and get baptized and go on living in sin without every being changed and still go to Heaven. Scripture teaches on the contrary... and I want people to know this. I would rather someone wrestle in prayer and over the word of God about their salvation than have a false sense of hope and go to hell.
I beg you to examine yourself, what you claim as your assurance, and test it with the Bible. Is your assurance in man-made methodology like "walking an aisle at church, repeating the "sinner's prayer", or even some type of church sacraments like baptism or communion?" If you hope is not found in Christ alone and His redemptive work upon the cross and you can not look to the Scriptures and examine your life and say, "I am a new creation, God has changed my heart. I hate the things I once loved (my sin) and I love the things I once hated (the things of God and God himself).
Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?--unless indeed you fail to meet the test! 2 Corinthians 13:5
Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, Philemon 2:12
I leave you with these two passage of Scriptures: The Works of the Flesh and the Fruits of the Spirit…
WORKS of the FLESH
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,
idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Galatians 5:19-21
FRUITS of the SPIRIT
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk (a manner of lifestyle) by the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-25
Which one of these passages describes your life? If you can not say after reading the following Scriptures that you are of a new nature, you must cry out to God for Salvation.
I love you all and I plead with you to examine yourselves.