"The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack in gain.
She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life."
Proverbs 31:11-12
When I taught youth girls with my husband, I used verse 12 many times to illustrate to them the importance of purity. It is good for a young woman to remain pure for her future husband, it is good for him to enter into a marriage relationship with no past to overcome. It is good for young ladies to think about keeping themselves pure for their future husbands to do them good, not harm all of their days- even the days before they ever meet them. Because of my sinful, godless past I don't get that luxury, but God is gracious and has forgiven us as far as the east is to the west.
But what about now?
Trust. Which ways can my actions cause him not to trust me? I believe a big one would be me not trusting him. When he comes to me with big plans or decisions for our life, do I automatically shoot them down out loud, or even in my head for that matter? Or do I show enough trust in him (ultimately the Lord) by entrusting my future to the one God has entrusted with protecting me? I am quite thankful I have a husband that comes to me and allows me to give insight and input when we have a decision to make. But we must remember that God has placed our leader before us to trust. We can rest in their guidance because God is sovereign.
Obedience. What about taking care of things that I can take care of to take some of the burden from my husband? When he asks me to do something, do I get it done? When he gives me instruction do I always listen? That would be a "No." Would it honor both the Lord and my spouse to honor his word, his instruction to make sure I complete tasks around the home that are important to him? That would be a "Yes." Then I resolve to do better in this area.
Shopping. Can my husband trust that I will be a responsible steward of the resources the Lord has provided us? Do I splurge on a new dress at the expense of our tithes, our bills, our needs, or our food? Or do I disobey our budget? (Ultimately, if you have a budget set and you are constantly crossing that line, you are in disobedience.) Now, do I do this perfectly? No, but God granted Jim and I great mercy long ago when we came to realize we were thoughtless spenders. If we had it, we would spend it. If we wanted something, we would go get it, and pay for it later. If we needed to pay a bill, we didn't put money in the offering plate, but next time, if we had money, we would write a fat check. But there was no discipline, consistency, or control to our monetary habits. But God, rich in mercy, allows you to see your sin for what it is, like Dave Ramsey says, "One day you look in the mirror and say, "I'm fat! How did I get here?" Well, it didn't happen overnight, but one day you do see it and praise be to the Lord he gives you the tools to change. My God doesn't leave you where you are. So if this area has struck a cord with you, I would call you to repent seek the Lord, confess to your husband and put together a game plan. It will be one of the most rewarding, freeing things you can do for your marriage and it is great testimony to honor the Lord with your finances. I recommend Crown Ministries or Dave Ramsey.
Spiritually. Am I ensuring that my husband has time to pray and read the Scriptures so that he may rightly teach and guide our family? I'm not saying you should be beating him over the head with the bible telling him he should be doing more than he's doing. I'm asking, "Am I freeing him up to have great gains in sanctification and spiritual leadership or am I bogging him down to do too many things I could be doing, is he having to come behind me to fix my mess ups, am I leaving him with little free time to seek the Lord on our behalf?" I think I could do better in this area for sure. I look at our life right now, things are a bit busy with a young baby, a toddler, a homeschooler and both working full time- so I know there are seasons in everyone's lives and it's superific awesome that my husband can help me as much as he does, but I don't want to give him tasks that would take away from the immense calling that God has placed on him.
So, fellow wives, let us strive to bring about a great trust within our husbands. Let us do our best to bring him comfort and joy in our presence and absence. Let us do him good, and not harm, all the days of our lives. Christ will certainly be honored by our obedience and we will be blessed because of it.
“Let the wife make her husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.”
-Martin Luther
