12 Things you should NOT do to your husband By: Camilia Brown

For all of us ladies, it is an every day struggle against the body of death we were born into and society's feminine movement does nothing to help us wage the war. Our ever present help is our loving and patient God and we must look to him to help us fight this war.

"A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." (Proverbs 12:4)

Read at your own Risk!

"Things You Should Not Do To Your Husband.” By: Camilia Brown

1. DO NOT treat your husband as one of your children. You are not running the household, he is. So no matter how busy you think you are or how many tasks you might have to perform at once you should not address your husband in this way: “Honey come here! Do this! Hold that! Grab this! Deal with this or that!” Now I am all for asking our husbands for help when he is available to give it, but bossing him around is not becoming of a wife. We must conduct ourselves as his help meet and not treat him as if the reverse were true.

2. DO NOT act as if you are more spiritual than he is. I honestly have a hard time with women who act as if they are the spiritual leaders of their family; as if they are doing all the spiritual reformation in the family while their husbands are busy with other pursuits and just tag along with regard to spiritual matters. We’ve all heard women say things like: “Well God told me this is the best for our family so I had to take the decision, because my husband is not there yet... I am praying for him though!” Even if it were true that a woman might be more spiritual than her husband, this attitude is a usurpation of the authority that God has given the family. There is never room for this kind of behavior in a Christian home. Honestly, my thoughts are that women who set themselves up as spiritual gurus in the family and brag of being more spiritual or knowledgeable than anyone else have proved themselves to be the contrary.

3. DO NOT talk over him and in a gathering DO NOT talk more than he does. If he doesn’t talk much than talk even less. It is just not becoming to women to do all the talking as if they speak for the family.

4. DO NOT complain about him to others. Don’t make him look foolish in front of anyone and don’t talk about his weaknesses to anyone.

5. DO NOT compare him with other men. You married an individual with different qualities, different style and vision. He is not like anyone else. He is the man that God has given you the task of loving and serving, and you should consider it an honor to be able to carry out that duty. Note to unmarried ladies: Make a list with the qualities a future husband MUST have to avoid your being totally dissatisfied. If it was not that important before you got married don’t nag him or be dissatisfied about it after you get married.

6. DO NOT nag him continuously about a matter. Did you hear the expression? DRIP! DRIP! DRIP!? I don’t like it when the children come even close to being drips, so I am sure no husband would appreciate it either.

7. DO NOT make him feel he doesn’t measure up to your expectations. Encourage, don’t criticize and most important...be content!

8. DO NOT be afraid to bring to his attention sins that he should deal with or concerns that you might have in regard to his conduct. It is a wife’s duty to encourage her husband in his spiritual growth. While it is not the wife’s duty to assume the role of her husband’s conscience, she is the closest to him and can encourage him grow in ways that others cannot. Our husbands must trust that we are help meets to them and that we are honest and sober minded in our reproof.

9. DO NOT always speak your mind. This doesn’t mean we should not have an opinion, but most of the time it is better to hold our tongues rather than “state the facts.” Choose your words carefully in soberness, patience, and love. This does not mean that it is wrong to be open with your husband about your concerns or being honest when he asks our opinion. There is a greater respect and trust that your husband will show toward your opinion when you find this balance.

10. DO NOT seek out parallel lives with him. Become acquainted with whatever job he does and get involved if possible, even if by just listening to him talk about it. Don’t think about your husband’s pursuits in terms of: HIS career, HIS hobbies, HIS this, or HIS that. I hear women say: “Well he is busy with his pursuits and I with the children.” Yes we have different roles but we work together towards the same goal: to Glorify God in every area of our lives. You can’t be a proper help meet for your husband if you are not involved in everything he is doing whether you are interested or not.

11. DO NOT become too busy to listen to him or do things for him. When you start to have lots of children it can become really easy to do this, but remember you are made to be a help meet for him.

12. DO NOT let your appearance go because you have married him now. Make yourself pretty for him. Yes he loves you no matter what, but you made sure that you showed him that you care enough to look nice for him before you were married, you should care more, not less, after he actually becomes your husband. It is not a matter of keeping his affections, but rather continuing to give him all that we have to offer. 5 minutes a day is all it takes.

"I have made my share of mistakes and still do. Many of them are listed above. I am still a work in progress, so please don’t take this to mean that I think I have arrived. I thought listing a few resolutions and observations, may be helpful to someone else." -Camilia Brown

The Television

I am sure that most of you know by now: Over two years ago Jim and I made the decision to cancel our Dish Network. Up until a year ago, we didn't even have rabbit ears until we realized that most of our friends felt it neccessary to call us every time there were tornadoes in the area because they thought we might be swept away because we were unaware of the dangers.

It was a decision that we were both pondering for long before that. We finally braved the waters and pulled the plug. The first challenge was actually stepping out in faith and realizing our time was very valuable and we were pretty much committing idolatry: sacrificing our time, money and worship to an object of the world. We set our affections on shows and ideals (even though they weren't really BAD shows) rather than the God of the universe that made us and saved us. We were replacing time doing God-honoring things for time spent in just being a spectator of other people's lives. Most people we spoke to didn't think we really watched that much TV, I suppose we didn't as much as some people. But still God opened our eyes and convicted us of our sins of omission. It was always easier to NOT do things and watch TV instead.

I will never forget telling a friend that we were getting rid of "TV" and she said she could never do that, that "TV was her hobby, and she couldn't live without it." I was a little worried that I was in the same boat. Not so much that I considered it my hobby, but there was a little angst that I possibly might die without connection with the outside world. Yet still, here I sit living and breathing!
When we finally decided to cancel the Dish, it took forever to get to the person on the phone that would actually be the one to cancel our service, then they tried and tried to get us to keep it, and the first mention I made of our family needing to spend our time in God's Word and together as a family, they wanted to deal no more with me," OKAY," they said, "we'll take care of it Ms. Carlson." Wow, that is so true of the world, if you would like to get rid of a telemarketer; all you need to do is try and share the Gospel with them. DONE! Anyway, that was a challenge. It did take a leap of faith, knowing that if we weren't watching TV, we were to be doing other things with our time. I couldn't just check out if I wanted to. I needed to be involved in my life. But, you know what? It has been a tremendous blessing. We are a reading family. We read the bible together, we read books, we shop for books, we talk about books, we fellowship with friends and family, and the best of all, God. You listen to God more, you think about God more and you learn about God more. The soundtrack of our lives now consists of conversations, hymns, laughter, silly old songs we boogie and dance to instead of the constant hummmmmm and murmur of some strangers on TV as background noise to a hectic life of trying to get a bunch of stuff done so I can FINALLY sit down and watch TV.
We have slowly introduced TV back into our home. We have rabbit ears. We watch the news a couple of times a week, we might watch "Headlines" on Jay Leno, and we watch NFL football, and I am sure I will be enjoying some basketball and track over the next few weeks as the Olympics start, but it doesn't own us. We don't schedule things around shows, we don't feel enslaved to the TV, it works to our advantage when we want to enjoy a show, but now we don't turn it on for the sake of FINDING something to watch, we turn it on with purpose. The catharsis was a metamorphosis of our family: I want Dylan to bring her family up to love to read because she loves to read and because that is what she saw her family doing: reading, having bible study, and always having an open door to friends and family.
I am so thankful that God revealed to us the need to seek after Him and to really invest in our lives. I just wanted to share that with others that sometimes we don't always truly SEE what we are doing until someone points it out to us. I don't think the TV is evil (just some of the shows) I just think it is just like the Scriptures say about money, money isn't evil, it is the LOVE of money that's the root of all sorts of evil. The TV isn't evil; it is the LOVE of the TV that is the root of all kinds of evil. When you love something more than God it causes a multitude of other sins that are all rooted from the first one, which is the breaking of the first and second commandment.
I have enclosed a blog post I recently read that led me to write this and share this with you: Not only does it address the spiritual but the intellectual, moral, and financial side:

Why We Don't Have Cable (and Maybe You Shouldn't Either)
June 2, 2008 A BLOG post by:
The Available Light
Reflections on Culture and Christian Life
For most of our married life, we've lived without cable television, one of those ubiquitous amenities that, for many people, has taken on the character of necessity. Some people don't know how we make it. We get asked from time to time how we go on living.
For us, the cost has been the main obstacle. For much of that time, we simply have not been able to afford the bill. Recently though, we've considered getting it installed. If we stretched our budget, we might be able to swing it. Struggling with this option has left me inclined to continue to do without. Here's why:
The Cost
Cable service rates continue to climb. Where we live the basic package is somewhere near 50 dollars a month. At minimum, we'd be paying $600 a year. And what would we be paying for exactly? The chance to watch more television.
I remain unconvinced we ought to pay several hundred dollars a year to do more of something that would likely make us less productive. Right now, a big TV night for us is two hours. Some days, the television never comes on. If we paid for cable, I'd feel compelled to watch as much as possible. If the television weren't on much more than it is now, I'd have the nagging sense of wasting money.
At the same time, the money could go for better things. We could save that $600 for something more valuable than the opportunity to see new episodes of "What Not To Wear." We could put it toward a trip to ..:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:smarttags" />..:NAMESPACE PREFIX = ST1 />Europe. We could put it toward student loans. We could give it away.
The Time
Since having cable would cause me to feel compelled to watch it, a lot more of my time would evaporate in front of the set.
I would end up exchanging my time for value on my money. The end effect of this arrangement would be a double loss for our family. It would almost be like paying someone to take up our time.
We'd inevitably do less of something important. Maybe we wouldn't neglect our child right away, but maybe those dirty dishes would sit there a little longer than they ought. Maybe we'd just let the garden go. Maybe we wouldn't issue as many invitations to dinner.
Whatever it was, we'd soon find ourselves exchanging something important in order to watch television. We'd find ourselves becoming passive, not the active, involved people we want to be. We'd run the risk of becoming cable zombies.
The Content
We have a baby in the house. There is a lot in the world from which we plan to shield her. Having cable would mean running a line from Bad Idea Central into our living room.
I know there are some fine programs available. But I don't want to have to police them.
And it's not just the content of the individual programs. There's also the total effect of the content of the cable package itself. Watching cable tends to be simultaneously an experience in gluttony and starvation. A million programs on the air, only a handful worth watching. It makes me nervous just to see it all.
I'm not opposed to having cable in principle. Nor am I saying anyone who subscribes is doing something wrong. But for many people, paying for cable is the default mode of living and there are, no doubt, many more good reasons to consider pulling the plug.